Why Being Good At Your Job Is Not Enough To Build Trust

Before people decide whether you are capable, they are already deciding whether you are someone they can trust and whether you care about them. 

In many Asian workplaces, we are trained almost exclusively to be competent. We deliver results, meet deadlines, and keep our personal lives out of the office.

But in an AI world, where execution work is increasingly automated, warmth, trust, and rapport are going to be our edge.

What does this look like in practice?

This is a question I get often, especially from high performers who have received feedback that they could connect more with their team or their managers.

The instinct is to assume that building warmth means oversharing or becoming a different version of yourself at work. It does not.

The question worth asking is: how do we build trust while staying professional?

I always say trust is built across two areas. The first is competence. Can I rely on you to deliver? This is what most of us already focus on.

The second is warmth. Do I know you? Do I feel that you care?

In roles where how you make people feel is central to the work, like L&D, HR, or any client-facing function, warmth is not optional. It is the work itself.

Simple ways to build warmth at work

• Ask curious questions about your colleagues’ challenges at work, their weekend, their life outside the office. Genuine curiosity is one of the fastest ways to build connection!
• Show appreciation. When something goes well, say so. A word of praise or a simple acknowledgment goes further than most people realise.
• Follow up on what people share. If a colleague mentioned their daughter had a recital, ask how it went the next time you see them. These small moments of attentiveness build trust and rapport.
• Pay attention to your body language. Warm cues matter. A head tilt, leaning in slightly, hands open and facing upward when asking for input, are signals that register even before you have said a word. 

The same principle applies in interviews, presentations, introductions, and public speaking. 

I always come back to two books when I am on this topic: The Trusted Advisor by David Maister, is my holy grail for building trust with stakeholders quickly, and Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards, is a brilliant book on how we build trust through the way we communicate.

What is one relationship at work you want to invest in this week? Hit reply and let me know!

Rooting for you,
Angel Kilian
Founder | Career inFocus

P.S: If you’re ready to be recognised as the top 1% and find out how you can land senior roles without online applications, register here for my upcoming FREE masterclass. This will be the last masterclass for 2026!